How to mentally prepare yourself for CLL?

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Hello to dear LL'res

If everything goes as expected, I will have this surgery in 3 months.
Every morning when I wake up, I find myself questioning whether this is a sane thing to do or not, And before bed, I become almost certain that this is the right thing to do. It is hard to imagine becoming incapable of walking and getting around in only 4-6 hours. The fear of excruciating and unbearable pain also discourages me sometimes.But again, I can't get over this surgery. How can someone prepare him/her self for something that is going to need a lot of mental toughness? Those who have done this surgery, how did you manage to finally find the courage to go ahead and do it knowing that you could die or live with a complication for the rest of your life? are there any specific activities that will help a person to become mentally tough? I'm trying Cold showers and endurance running for that purpose at the time.

Looking forward to your answers.

Best wishes,
chasingthedream

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have you  checked out drvbmcs post?

http://www.limblengtheningforum.com/index.php?topic=64295.0

i reread it every month or so to get my mind in the right mindset

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Thanks for the reply!
this was really helpful, I hope he's doing well.

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I think there's no reason to have fear about an orthopedic surgery like this, the risks are minimal even if it is a major surgery. There are other things way harder in the life, this is a joke compared to them.
I don't care about pain, pain is hard as long as you make it mean so much. Mournings, cancer, or even just a psychological suffering for your height, they are all things way more important.
The only people who should suffer about this are those who can't do/afford this kind of surgery.
After surgery everything will be better day by day.
Go on and you'll have nothing to regret.

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I agree that it is worth it at the end of the day since you're treating your psychological issue you've been having all your life to start living a more fulfilling life. All that said, it is still risky. You go in the operating room as a healthy person, and potentially giving yourself complications or chance of death even.

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while i agree with tartar
i do believe that having a doubts and being cautious is a good thing. it means that you have a full understanding of the procedure and the risks associated with it.
chasing you should view your apprehension as a sign of maturity, that you are ready to take the next step

heres a good jojo quote