I need motivation

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Although CLL is a thing and hundreds of people have done the surgery and living their live,
I still feel like it's kind of impossible for me to get the surgery done and I feel so desperate because I feel like I'm stuck in this height forever.
I'm a weak 174cm and It sucks, I know most of the people here are around 5'5, but still; we do feel the same.

I don't know why exactly, but i've literally never been in a surgery before for medical purposes or aesthetical purposes.It just seems impossible for me.

Best Regards

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Quote from: shep on July 23, 2020, 04:39:27 PMMe too. Though I've already set and decided that I'm gonna try my best to find the means, commitment and courage to undergo LL next year, it's hard to imagine that I'll actually do it.

Naturally, since it's truly a potential life-changing surgery (most hopefully for the better) and such a complicated one at that, it would be weird for it not to seem impossible.

How I'm finding my courage is reading others' diaries and watching video logs online, where hopefully in i'd be the person in that position in a year's time.

Thanks for the response,

Well said actually, you are thinking in the same way as I do. I spend my days reading diaries here when I shouldn't and concencrate on my lessons and school.
I hope in the next 5 years, this surgery becomes viral as fk and we will be able to see thousands of patients having the surgery and living their life as good as they used to.
So, it will probably kill a decent amount of my concerns.

Best Regards

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I'll be happy If i at least be 180cm.
Which is nearly %100 possible with one surgery.

But my actual goal is to have 2 surgeries and hit 185cm. I know, it sounds INSANE, but if i had the money and had the femurs done and realise that it's not that a big deal after a year, and believe in myself that if i even have the surgery on tibias i could still get back to my pre LL level, i'd definetely do it.

But If the femur operation doesn't go on point, i'd stick to 180cm which is decent but not too good.

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Hello,

I don't want to have 2 surgeries just because i'm greedy to be honest, i think 180cm is also decent but I have an incredibly good looking face and I kinda want to be modelling in the future.
The chances of me getting accepted into a serious cooperation like Rick Owens Fashion Walk kinda stuff are low, maybe impossible after LL.
but i'm pretty sure i'd be accepted for low-budget cooperations.

Whatever tbh, it's not even the main thing. The main thing is I can now imagine how'd it be like to have your knee lvl at the very low while having a long femur. Literally %50 of your pre LL balance would be gone. I also want to lengthen my tibias because it'd be 200x proportional since my tibias are not long at all.

Sorry for the bad english, i can't explain the balance thing very well; I tried a lot. It's like, you'll have your knees at the same lvl as you used to have, with a LONGER femur. It doesn't seem to turn out good for your athleticity.

Best Regards

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Opinions ?

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Hello,

Your answer did not disappoint, I was waiting for your response as always.
Look, I've literally never mentioned it before nor tried to explain the deepest of my feelings to anyone else, but now; I want to share my thoughts about life.

I've been growing up with fashion walks, watching them all day, trying to design my own clothes, trying to make my OWN clothing brand.
Since my brain is completely washed due to the fashion trends like being tall as modelling, always choosing tall people to post a picture when you try to promote your products, the average height of models, people who are taking a role on fashion walks, they all literally washed my whole brain.

Now, I feel like i'm at a point where my standarts are too fkn high than they should be due to the impact of my interests. I know, 174cm is not that bad to be honest, no-one literally called me short, i was the alpha male during my entire school career, literally more than 20 girls LOVED me, due to my physical appereance and my character (i'm so talkative and funny irl, i'm mostly cold towards men but i get along with females insanely good)

So, i'm doing this for myself brother. I want to be at the top. 185cm. Literally could pull any kind of stuff I want to wear off. Now, with this height, I CANT even pull of any fkn thing. The stuff I want to wear are extreme. Literally the pieces from fashion walks where people think those outfits are too weird to use in a daily life. This is my life, this is where my brain's growth ended up, this is the last point where my THOUGHTS ended up.

I couldn't care less about FEMALES or any other fkn crap  . I just wanna be tall and physically PERFECT. In my entire life, i've never been into relationships anyway. I don't even wanna fk. I have a relationship which has been going for 3 years and I didn't even have sxx with her. She literally has the perfect body, that's how FAR i am into relationships and sxx.
(don't misunderstand me, don't say that if you were too far away from relationships why tf do you have a gf since 3 years ago? well, although i got  tons of offers from girls to be their boyfriend, i literally rejected them all. I only had 2 relationships irl, one lasted for 2 years, and the second one is still going on since 3 years, whatever)
and i'm not saying these stuff to flex, i'm just saying them to make you realise FEMALES DONT MEAN ANYTHING TO ME, IT DOESNT MATTER.

I'm not old btw, I'm lying about my age most of the time. I literally am a teenager. And I want to be perfect. The only thing fks it up is my height. I can't imagine how good it would be for me to be above 6 ft. I'd literally be godlike. And, there are plenty of people who want to be average, why can't i just wish to be godlike?

The only thing about this procedure is the RISKs, you can always tell me this: You said that you want to be perfect, what if you fk your legs up and you hate yourself forever?

Well, that's also possible. I need to take risks and if everything goes well in 2 3 years, i'll also go for tibias.

Best Regards

no hate btw, please
also i'll be 18 soon. I'm under 18, don't ban me please.

edit: I'm not being greedy or anything. I'm not having intentions of doing cross lengthening. If everything goes well on femurs (7 cm) which is a REALISTIC amount.
i'll also go for 5 cm on tibias which is ALSO realistic.

edit2: I have suicidal thoughts. I only live once, and I want to push the limits with REALISTIC goals.

edit3: I'm spending my whole days reading diaries here and being obsessed even  more and more. I have an uni enterance exam this year. and I dont know no crap about lessons. Although i'm clever and i'm in a high school where only the %4 of the middle school students were able to sign up. I'm literally wasting my intelligence, my life, my joy. ALL OF THIS BECAUSE OF MY FKN HEIGHT

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Hello again,

Sorry, I was kind of sensitive and I used insulting words more than once, my bad. But I think I kinda did a good job puking my feelings out. I really needed that.
Second of all, I used to be very good at football and I quit like 5 years ago. (Professionally, football was kind of my "profession", i was almost paid for it)
After quitting football, I seriously haven't done anything related to sports. I'm kind of a lazy guy, I've never used my %100 athleticity anyway except football, probably not.

Well, of course we need to sacrifice something but what I mean is, there are sort of solutions for the stuff which are concern.
Like, balance. I'm pretty sure if everything goes well on your femur surgery and after 2 years you can run etc. Although you are almost at your pre LL level I'm pretty sure you'd have worse balance than having 2 surgeries.
What I mean is, balance thing could be fixed with also lengthening the tibia.

Since I'm concerned about "if everything goes well" thing, I decided to get the surgery fully internal. Especially with STRYDE.
I'll either go to Paley, Donghoon Lee (which is legit the god of LL), or Dr Halil Buldu.
I'm pretty sure they are skilled enough to destroy all the concerns which are depended on the surgeon who will be applying the surgery.
As a smooth result, all I have to focus on is stretching and trying to adapt.

You cannot imagine how pessimistic i am irl. But still, I still got hopes that everything could be as good as used to be after 2 surgeries.
You just have to work hard. Very, very hard. But after that, you'll be gifted by the best gift in the world.

Best Regards

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And also,

All I want to be able to do after the surgery are:

-to run smoothly
-to bend my legs as far as any human could
-being able to sleep in any position i want, without my legs getting hurt

I'm not asking for other stuff like Mr. Sweden does, extreme kicks, 720 turns, etc.
I've never cared about doing those stuff anyway. I just wanna be able to use my legs like a normal human being.

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Quote from: ghkid2019 on July 23, 2020, 11:21:00 PMI really doubt you'll have too much trouble doing all of that after you recover from doing quadrilaterals. After 5 years I think all should be fine.

If you do the 2 year gap between femurs and Tibias you should definitely be able to run.

 Long term knee flexion isn't really a concern with LL if you do the appropriate amounts of lengthening.

Sleep should be fine. The only thing that may be affected is kneeling on a hard surface. Internal nails into the Tibias is associated with knee pain like if you kneel on the floor. Personally, I have knee pain when I kneel anyways, and I obviously haven't done LL. On a bed it's not a problem at all, no knee pain, Medium Drink of Water pointed out.

Will you have to give up any chance of being decent at extreme physical sports? Probably. Will you give up explosiveness and agility? Definitely. Will you still be able to do everything the average man in the world does day to day? Probably as well. People live normal lives, the average person doesn't run, or exercise, or play sports. I think you'll be fine after a conservative amount of lengthening with a big gap between the surgeries and a good stretching schedule.

It really is always good to talk to you brother, you are always realistic and helpful. You are one of the best members of this forum imo.
Also, I want to get the surgery done before I reach 23. So I can lie to people that I had a late growth spurt or say that I used HGH to increase my height.
Only my mother and father will know about it. Not even my little brother, he's not even damn little. He's 14 and 6'1.

But the budget is too complicated. 100k euros? Almost impossible to obtain. I hope the luck shall shine over my soul. Idk how. I just hope.
I won't even end up with a good uni since i keep wasting my time on forums and youtube watching videos about LL. Lmao. Pathetic.

Best Regards

edit: The reason I care about proportion is that if i dont get the tibia done in the future, i'll probably end up looking exactly like this LOL
https://ltdfoto.ru/image/JSKPf

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Thanks for the replies.

I know, forget about the modelling itself. I just want to look good in any kinds of outfits.That's the main idea.Even though if I can't be a model, i'd still feel like one. That's the case.That's what would make me happy.
I can't look good with this height, I'm pretty sure 10-12cm would completely change my life and kill my height dysphoria. If everything went smooth and no complications occured.

Best Regards