I want to focus on the topic of post-LL dating in this thread. For most of us considering leg lengthening, height neurosis encompasses far far more than dating, but attractiveness to women appears to be one of the most immediately noticeable benefits of growing taller, and I’m wondering if those of you who had the procedure might shed some light on how growing taller has affected your dating life and how women view you.
Despite my height at 5’6, I am lucky enough to have an attractive face, athletic body, high social skills, and a full life, and I have never had a problem finding women to hookup with. I am very outgoing and when I notice that a woman is attracted to me at a bar, party, in a social group, or elsewhere, I am effective at turning those moments into dating opportunities.
However, I have also found that I have not been attracted to most women who are interested in me, and the women I do find attractive rarely find me attractive, and when I get dates with them due to my personality/social status/social skills I often face a lot of ambivalence, I tend to get strung along until they break things off, and I find myself in a situation where I am regularly tested and treated like a backup until I break it off or they do. My longest relationship with a woman I found attractive was anxiety ridden since I felt I had to play it perfectly to get her off the fence—almost to a manipulative level, where I never shared my emotions, needs, and concealed my high interest level, bolstered my options/feeling of abundance by playing the field in the early phase of dating, and even then it felt like she held all the cards in the relationship, which is not something I’d like to have to repeat every time I catch the eye of a really attractive woman.
I’m wondering whether any of you have seen improvements in that aspect of dating post-LL, whether growing taller has opened doors as far as options, and helped you find less ambivalence and testing behaviors among the most attractive women you’re talking to.
Post-LL Effects on Dating and Attractiveness
Quote from: informationispower on October 21, 2022, 02:08:53 PMBeing taller will increase the quantity of women who would consider to date you but not the quality. You will have a larger dating pool though thus will more likely have more quality women. Just to be more clear, if now 100 women find you attractive but only 10% are good looking, by being lets say 5'9 500 women will find you attractive but still only 10% of them you will find attractive (10vs50 women you find attractive)
What makes you believe that quality is not also improved?
Quote from: lessthanavg8300 on October 21, 2022, 02:30:01 PMBy the way you dont even need to ask people on here. Go on a dating app and spend a few days at different heights (change your height). See what happens. That will be your answer. I changed mine from 5'7 to 5'10 and the difference was hilarious.
Yes I've done the same experiment in the past, I'm just curious on post-LL patient's take on how the experience changed for them. My assumption is that women are more likely to approach them, are less likely to play games and be ambivalent when dating them, and will give them more leeway in terms of other traits when considering them as a partner. But I'd like to hear some more anecdotes confirming the theory and some more in depth experiences from men who have seen their dating lives improve beyond the surface of "yes, being taller will help with dating". I'd like to hear specific accounts of how they've perceived their dating lives improve, and details about their before/after experiences with women.
Yeah from my own experience it feels like I have to be absolutely perfect when I do date a really attractive woman. Perfect personality, perfect career, high social status, great in bed, always well groomed and dressed well, and always on my game when it comes to planning great dates. Almost like I’m treated like I have to make up for my body, while my taller friends seem to get away with a lot more and have the same type of women chasing them when they have a lot less going on. It’s exhausting, frankly.
I remember hearing Nikki Glaser joke about how women should date short guys because it’s like getting a hot guy at a discount, and it mirrors my experience: I feel like I naturally end up dating women who are less attractive than me while they still hold all the cards in the relationship, and that’s frustrating as hell. In some ways I wish I didn’t care about stuff like looks, but it’s not really my choice who I’m attracted to or not, and I think it’s the same way for women. I’ve dated a number of women who seem to have been hesitant because they wished they were more attracted to me because of all the other stuff I had going on, but ultimately ended things because they couldn’t get over the physical attraction stuff. And I can’t lie, I probably would have done the same if I met the perfect woman but she was fat or just not physically attractive.
I used to think the LL was a bit crazy because the agonizing and long recovery, the chances of complications or lifelong pain, but even taking away all the other height neurosis fixing benefits and social benefits, it feels like the better dating prospects alone justify why men like myself want to do it. I’d kill to be tall enough where it wasn’t a problem lol.
Quote from: SpeedDialer on October 22, 2022, 04:04:30 PMFor dating, I still see a small problem. I am just sort of thinking let's say someone gets internals for femurs and tibias and then gets tattoos on them to conceal them and then goes on a date
The problem is that some of the scars will be somewhat raised (I have some small linear scars that sort of like have a small raised bump under them) and someone on a date could feel that bump
What would you say if someone felt that bump under the scar/tattoo?
Frankly, I don't think anything short of being noticeably crippled/deformed or having cartoonish/uncanny-valley level of proportions would come close to offsetting the advantages of being taller in terms of attractiveness. Physical attraction is not a choice, and if a woman would not have been physically attracted to you pre-CLL, but is attracted to taller post-CLL you, her finding out that you got life altering surgery to fix an insecurity and having a lowered opinion of you for it is just the cost of doing business. If you literally weren't in the game before, but are after CLL, you're still be better off no matter how disgusted she might be by your choices/insecurities. If you're getting serious with a woman post-CLL, and she starts asking questions, the better choice is to just be honest about it and take the hit, since dishonesty/deception is far less attractive than the stigma of admitting you got CLL.
Quote from: EndGame on October 22, 2022, 06:24:17 PMYou're basically asking what to say if you're scars are noticed for a bump or whatever reason even if you're trying to use tattoos to hide them. Most women won't ask unless an ltr. You don't want to tell them LL or you wouldn't have bothered with the tattoos. Perhaps, bow leg correction or some other corrective surgery or car accident or some sort of trauma.
I would agree that a short-term partner doesn't need to know that you got LL, but IMO it would be a mistake to lie to a woman in a LTR about something so significant. Either she'll eventually find out, or you'll be hiding it for the rest of your life. Women are so used to being lied to by men trying to impress them that being branded a liar could poke permanent holes in the foundation of the relationship, so its probably better to simply avoid the question and just say it was from surgery and you don't want to talk about it until you're ready to tell them. It'd be far worse for her to find out after marrying you and realizing down the line that your kids probably won't be as tall as you lol.
Do any of you post-LL guys have anecdotes of specific ways you've noticed your new height help you with women? I think we all know that an increase height has an obvious positive impact, but I'm sure it'd be reassuring for those of us considering it to hear specific accounts of how you've noticed the way women treat you before/after.
I think its clear that growing taller won't necessarily help you if you have poor game as it is, but for someone like myself who is 5'6 and has moderate success with attractive women, it'd be nice to hear about ways you've noticed women treat you before vs. after, particularly if your post-LL height puts you in the average to tall range where we'd expect to see the most significant improvements.
Quote from: google42 on October 22, 2022, 09:04:52 PMI think if you’re not attractive through other qualities like your face, body, personality, status or money, then adding three inches will have a marginal effect. adding 3 inches to anyone would not automatically make them a chick magnet, you need to have other things going for you especially the face. But the shorter you are the more of a positive effect this surgery would have on you, the closer you are to average height or taller the more other things start to matter.
Again, I think most conscientious people understand that being taller will not suddenly turn them into Brad Pitt. If they weren’t a social butterfly before, and had little going for them in other areas, height won’t make a big difference. I have plenty of taller friends who are unsuccessful with women, and their height does not make a difference. At the same time, there is no question though that height matters a LOT in terms of whether attractive women will even be receptive to you to begin with.
What I’m speaking to is those men who feel that height was the biggest thing limiting them in relationships, and feel that the increased height has enhanced their lives in that area. In my case, I have a good face, I’m athletic, have good social skills, high social status amongst my peers, a great career, and am effective at attracting women who are receptive to me. I have, however, felt like I've reached a point of diminishing returns, finding that my height is precluding me from having as many options with women, and believe I would only see modest gains from broadening my social appeal, making a bit more money, or improving my fitness. Short of becoming famous, wildly successful, or taller, I don’t think there is much more I can do to improve in that department to improve my results. I have had many courtships in my life end due to women telling me that I am not tall enough for them, and many more where the woman was ambivalent and going back and forth because they enjoyed our time together, but weren't physically attracted enough to me to continue long-term.
I’d like to hear from men who had similar experiences and underwent LL. Do you notice more women looking at you in public settings? Do women approach you more? Do they string you along less? Do you feel like you have more wiggle room for mistakes in dating? Do you get more 2nd and 3rd dates, and get ghosted less often? etc.
While I think having a defeatist attitude is not helpful at all, I do think that height is a tremendous hurdle to overcome in dating, and even some of us tend to underestimate it. I remember watching a special on ABC where a panel of women were asked to pick the man they’d most like to date out of a lineup of guys of various heights. They were told that the 5’11-6’2 guys had mediocre jobs, and that the 5’0-5’6 guys were surgeons, venture capitalists, chiefs of staff at a hospital, while on the side publishing best sellers, were champion skiers, and also gourmet chefs who were great with children. Despite that, nearly all of the women always chose the taller guys as the one they’d want to date. Even after piling on these insane credentials, none of them picked the 5’0 guy (in fact, they basically just mocked him), only one picked the 5’3 guy, the 5’6 guy was picked by half the women. But even when they thought he was a millionaire surgeon with tons of accomplishments, some women STILL chose the 6 foot plus gym teacher over him. When asked what it would take to make the 5’0 guy attractive to them, the women literally answered that the only way they’d choose him was if the rest of the lineup were murderers and rapists. It was messed up lol.
I think the biggest impact CLL could have in terms of dating options would be the jump from 5’2-5’4 to 5’5-5’7, since it would more than double the amount of women shorter than you, and anecdotally I’ve found that 5’3-5’5 women are a lot less picky about height than 4’11-5’2 women. I think the stigma of being really short hurts men tremendously, and I feel I would not have nearly the same dating success if I were 2 inches shorter than I am.
Jumping from 5’5-5’7 to 5’8-5’10 is where I’d assume you’d see the largest jump in terms of options among attractive women. I’ve found that most attractive women with options have an internalized minimum height for a guy to be taller than them in heels, and I imagine being closer to average height really makes a massive difference.
Hitting that 5’11-6’1 mark IMO would be the point where your height suddenly becomes a pretty big plus, and 90%+ of women will be attracted to your height alone. Of course, if you’re unattractive in other ways, and don’t know how to talk to women, it won’t matter in the least, but being tall is enough to make women look past some minor flaws. I’ve heard a phrase before that every inch above 6 feet is a free red flag a guy can get away with, and I think there’s some truth in that.
Frankly, it doesn’t matter where you rank women. Men put out the invitation, and women are ultimately the ones who decide whether they go out with you and decide whether sex is on the table. The choice you are left with is deciding which of these women you commit to.
Women aren’t stupid for aiming for the most attractive partner they can find, it just means they have to wait longer and slowly lower their standards until they hit a match. Most women prefer tall guys, but scarcity means most women can’t lock down a tall guy, and will eventually have to settle. Try setting your dating app preferences to older women, and you’ll find that they are typically way less picky when it comes to height, presumably for this reason.
The real question is, do you want to wait until an attractive women settles for you? I don’t know about y’all, but I don’t want to be with someone who feels like they could’ve done better.
You must be logged in to post a reply.